I can't sleep because I keep playing this weekend's mistakes over and over in my head. I can't sleep because I keep thinking about what I have to do to get stronger. To get smarter. To podium. To win. To do my teammates proud.
I can't sleep because my boyfriend gets home from Redlands in 24 hours or less. I can't sleep because my room is a mess but I don't have the energy to clean it. I can't sleep because I keep getting hungry again every hour. I can't sleep because I'm constantly thirsty.
I can't sleep because I keep thinking about life. About change. About living life to its fullest. About setting new goals. About setting real goals. About setting scary goals.
I can't sleep. But I have to try. Eventually, I'll get there. And then morning will come, too soon.
Here's a book that's helping me lately: "Ask and It Is Given" by Hicks. Helps take uncertainty and anxiety out of things and lets you enjoy the process and live in the moment. Pretty crazy thinking but definitely helpful. Nice work this weekend! You showed up to race, which according to Woody Allen is 80% of the effort.
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